How to keep a LONG & STRONG relationship
Expert Advice on How to Make a Long Distance Relationship Work
15 Mar Apparently, couples in long-distance relationships tend to idealize their partners' behaviors, which leads to a greater sense of intimacy. That's all well and good, but being apart is definitely trying at times, even for couples with a relatively strong foundation. How do you get through it? Below, people familiar. Be honest, be kind, be empathetic. Above all, if you find your feelings are waning, set each other free. LDR is not for everybody. LDR should be reserved for the couples that have a concrete plan to be together on a permanent basis. It is not a su. 7 Jul "There will be times when long distance sucks. Like really, really sucks. And the only person who can make you feel better is the one person you can't be with at that moment. It's OK to let yourself feel the emotions of those moments; cry, punch a pillow, write it down, whatever you need to do. But don't keep.
Knowing how to make a long distance relationship work can be tricky. Here are our best long distance relationship tips—and links to extra resources. The biggest benefit of being in a LDR is that it forces you to communicate. You may never again in the course of your relationship have this much focused time and energy to spend communicating with your partner.
Make the most of it. If you get to know them deeply and well, that will pay off big-time in the long run. When you meet long distance it can be easy to jump in the deep end and move too fast in your new relationship.
21 Best Tips On Making A Long Distance Relationship Work
You may have great chemistry on paper or over the phone, and absolutely none in person. Discuss some of your communication basics as a couple—how you generally prefer to connect phone, VoIP, textwhat times, and for how long. This can help set realistic expectations and avoid some miscommunications, frustration, and anxiety. Check out Communication In Relationships: Prioritize talking with each other It can take real effort to rearrange schedules and make time to talk, especially when things get busy or there is a time difference involved.
Do not overdose on talk-time. Unless you both value transparency and honesty more than making a good impression, you will have a much more difficult time figuring out whether you and How To Be A Better Boyfriend Long Distance partner are a good fit for each other. Learn to listen carefully to your partner and ask good questions — questions that make them think and help you understand them better. Most couples in a LDR will go through periods where they struggle to find things to talk about check this out from how their day was.
When these seasons hit, put a bit more effort into finding new and fresh things to discuss or make it easy on yourself and check out the book below. Practice asking questions that make you feel vulnerable. Be willing to be transparent. What Should I Do? I cheated on my long distance boyfriend. Should I tell him?
So recommend books, articles, podcasts, music, movies, news items, etc to each other. If you can read or listen to some of the same things, that will help you share experiences and give you new things to talk about. Read up on some of those stories and learn from those who have gone before. Talking to each other is great, but make that extra effort sometimes to try something new or go on a long distance date. If you only ever talk to each other, try writing letters or long emails sometimes.
Writing gives you more time and space to reflect on tricky issues, and letters and emails can become treasured keepsakes or maybe even a book in the future. Tell your partner how they can best help you during those times. Visit web page your partner to share these things with you, too. Learn more about how you both approach conflict Conflict is inevitable in relationships, but being in a long distance relationship makes managing conflict well even more difficult.
A lot of that communication comes in the form of elaborate planning, and not just visits, but long-term plans. So many, in fact, I decided to write a book for you guys. It's OK to not plan things when you visit. Visits are the highlight of every long distance relationship.
If you want to know how to make a long distance relationship work, learn some basic conflict-management strategies and discuss them with your partner before you find yourself mid-fight. Check out Love Is A Battlefield: If possible, save your serious disagreements for when you can talk them out in person. Long distance relationships often involve intense emotions and extreme ups and downs. There are times of intense loneliness, uncertainty, source, and fear.
There are also times of extreme excitement, joy, and incandescent happiness. Learning to recognize, own, and manage your own emotions will pay off big time—now and in the future. Feeling a little jealous now and again is not unusual in a long distance relationship. However, uncontrolled jealousy can lead to a destructive combination of suspicion, possessiveness, insecurity, anger, and shame.
Stonewalling is using silence as a weapon or an escape. It is controlling the situation by simply refusing to engage. Distance makes this particularly easy to do hanging up or How To Be A Better Boyfriend Long Distance answering or returning callsand it can drive your long distance partner crazy with frustration, second-guessing, and self-doubt.
Tackling this hot topic directly can help avoid assumptions and conflict. Do you know what your primary love language is?
Do you know how to speak your partners? Check out The Five Love Languages: What Do You Speak?
Your love map is your mental network of information about your partner—their interests, stories, what makes them tick, and things you love and admire about them.
The more positive memories and associations you build into this love map, the stronger your relationship will be over time. Check out The Sound Relationship House: Trust is a major issue for many LDR couples.
Talking about these things and any growing feelings of see more or unease can save you a lot of heartache and conflict in the long run. Share things with each other that have made you laugh. Surprise your partner every so often with something thoughtful Everyone loves getting a present, a bunch of flowers, or a handwritten letter in the mail. Every so often, go the extra mile and do something extra and special to help your partner feel loved and valued.
5 Things GIRLS DON'T KNOW About Long Distance Relationships
Bonus points if the gesture is uber-thoughtful. Make sure you have some reminders of your partner around—perhaps put their photo on your desktop or tape it to your mirror, drink out a coffee mug they gave you… the possibilities are endless. Find a way to involve and connect your partner with some of the other important relationships in your life. Check out Not Just About You: Everyone is different, and so is every relationship. Everyone has different tips and tricks that help them cope better with the ups and downs that come with being in a long distance relationship.
Figure out what works for you, then do it. Build a life where you are.
Do things that make you fitter, smarter, and happier. Do things that interest you. Do these things alone, if need be. Remember, investing in yourself is another way of investing in your most important relationship.
Similarly, If you focus all your free source and energy on your long distance love, your relationships with those close to you will suffer.
You will be happier and healthier in life if you have a strong network of friends beyond your partner. To do that, you need to spend time connecting with them. Know your limits, and then stay a couple of steps away from those limits. Visit each other as often as you can without over-stretching your budgets and schedules. Spending time together in person will help you learn new things about your partner and remind you of why being in the long distance relationship is worth it.
Try to keep a visit scheduled.
6 Hacks to Make Your Long Distance Relationship Work
Make sure you get out and do something fun—hang with other friends, try a new restaurant, etc. Also try to mix in some normal life such as grocery shopping and cooking together. Short Reunions and Long Distance Relationships You can, however, learn to say click at this page in ways that work for you or, at least, work better. Check out Dreaded Departures: Plan ahead for how to best treat or support yourself during the first day or two after a visit ends.
Check out From Denial To Acceptance: Plan ahead for periodic separations Many couples nowadays do periodic stints of long distance. One way to reduce the stress of all that coming and going is to plan ahead together for How To Be A Better Boyfriend Long Distance to reduce the burden on the stay-at-home partner during your times apart. Spending some time on logistics before you leave will help them during your absence. Make a game plan for times you feel extra-lonely or sad Everyone has days when they feel extra-sad or lonely.
It may not be very wise, for example, to go hang out with an attractive friend at a dance club on a night when you really really want to be holding your partner close. Practice trusting Being apart from the person you love makes everyone feel insecure at times. You can start to doubt everything from how your partner feels about you, to whether they are staying faithful.
Submitted by Michelle Marshall-Behunin. Tips If here have to fly or use other public transportation to visit your partner, immediately enroll in a good rewards airline points or frequent traveler program. Plenty of LDRs work out in the long run, and many couples credit the time they spent in an LDR for teaching them invaluable relationship skills.
Distance also provides more opportunities for deception. Check out I am asked more questions about cheating and trust than anything else.
So many, in fact, I decided to write a book for you guys. So check out the special bundle offer below. If you really want to know how to make a long distance relationship work—look beyond being long distance! Before too long, however, do start talking about how and when you might be able to close the gap.
Same-city living will usher in a whole new phase in your relationship. Think and talk together about ways to ease the stress of this major transition. Take it slow and recognize you may both need some extra time and space as you negotiate learning or re-learning how to share your space and lives up close and personal.
Check out Long Distance No Longer: