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Crazy football chats you surely ignored

How to sound like a football expert… without knowing a thing

26 Jun When Jess Lander went to South Africa for the World Cup in , she found herself in a sea of soccer fans, hoping to get them to direct their mysterious foreign accents toward her. Luckily Lander, a sports and relationships writer and longtime soccer player, had a few tricks up her sleeve. “If you can strike. 13 Sep Are you ready for some football?!? That's right, football season is here. Now I know some of us equate football season with "tailgate season," but wouldn't it be nice if we could actually go to a Wake game and know what's going on? Or at least be able to talk about it with your guy friends, your dad, your. 16 Oct Here I am with my sister a few years ago. Obviously, I was aware that #11 meant Matt Leinart. Everyone had a crush on him. It's football season, people! I'm psyched to see USC take on Notre Dame tomorrow. I'll be watching with my family, at home in San Diego. The last time I watched football with a guy.

This man speaks truth. I won't say "always speaks truth. I have witnessed the master in action.

Top Soccer Shootout Ever With Scott Sterling (Original)

I won't lie, it takes practice to get the timing and sincerity correct. But the Sensei has it down. Even those "in the know" can be fooled by his "knowledge" of sports, enough for this master of words to steer the conversation to something much more exciting.

How To Talk Football With The Guys

Sir, thank you for the ringing endorsement of not only me, but of The System. It works, people and here's the proof. As your friend, I must warn you that in baseball, we really don't say "offense" and "defense. Just trying to help my fellow nerds out. As a legitimate sports fan who has some knowledge of geekdom, I could offer you some more tips if you're really interested in treading water when the convo turns to football anyway.

But they might be a racist. Have you heard about the hungry tree in Dublin 7? But the Sensei has it down. Apply to write for Her Campus! Memorize three facts about that player.

It could refer to the effort of the offense or defense at the line of scrimmage. It could pertain to them really sucking or really dominiating. If we are playing well, the sarcasm will be missed. If we aren't, then it wont. Check out the interview here. I played baseball okay, T-ball and soccer as a child, a little intermural football 2 games in college, and bowling not actually a real sport.

Every few years I try to get into football, both college and professional. I really, really try. But, alas, it never sticks. As unfortunate as it may be, workplace conversation rarely turns to the latest issue of Iron Man or which actor played best The Doctor. When it comes read article small talk, geeks are at a severe disadvantage unless, of course, you're that odd geek who actually likes sports.

Because sports conversations inevitably boil down to talking about specific players and chances are, the player in question is, in fact, good. He may be hated. He may be divisive. And in the off chance the player in question is not actually good?

Repeat it again, only this time really, really, sarcastically. But what if someone wants specifics? In that case drop…. People universally love the idea of heart, maybe none so much as sports fans. Heart is a way of saying losers are worth rooting for.

How to sound like a football expert… without knowing a thing

Heart is what gets Rudy Ruetigger paid on the motivational speech circuit. Heart makes the shittiest player beloved, and a lack of heart can vilify the greatest. Why is a he a good player? Unless the Patriots have recruited the Spartans, no one has a perfect defense. And even the most passionate team follower will have to admit that, yes, as perfect as the home team is, their defense could indeed be tighter.

Alternately, you could turn to…. Well, now things are going to get a little bit trickier. Most posers start to fall apart at this point. Was it a big game?

7 Things to Remember While Watching Football with Your Man…

Did something out of the ordinary happen? Did a tiger get loose on the field? What the hell were they even playing? It can mean you did see that spectacular play!

It can mean you did see that astounding snafu! It can mean you watched in awe at the sheer professionalism and skill on display right there on your television or it can mean it was boring as hell! Eventually, though, it will happen. Someone will be onto you.

Not only that, but this asshole will want to embarrass you in the process. Is there a weapon in your new arsenal designed specifically to scorch the Earth and possibly a friendship?

Appalled by the grotesque screaming, beer drinking, and bottle throwing that happens when we watch games. See more articles by Louise McSharry. I really, really try.

Then what color is he? But they might be a racist. Call them to task on it.

How To Talk Football With The Guys

Ask them what race has to do with the game in the first place. Accuse them of letting outdated mindsets cloud their love of the game. Tell them they're part of the problem and proof positive that as a country, we still have such a long way to go. Then, politely recuse yourself from the conversation and walk away.

You're now not only known as a passionate sports fan but a man or woman of conviction and high moral fiber. Posted by Chris Brennaman at 9: Thomas Busbee December 12, at 9: Chris December 12, at 9: Thomas Busbee December 12, at Kelley December 12, at December 12, at Suzanne Hallman December 12, at JSL December 12, at Read more December 12, at 5: Chris December 12, at 8: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

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