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4 Reasons Your Personal Trainer SUCKS!

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22 Jun A few minutes later, there was a loud commotion: The girl didn't know about the trainer's reputation and found out that he had been hooking up with someone else. The gym ended up canceling both women's memberships for fighting. They kept the trainer, though, as he had among the best sales numbers. 4 Apr Stories of client-trainer affairs are all too common. Why does starting a personalized fitness regime often also lead to the start of an affair?. I have my own theories but they would get me in mucho trouble if I posted them. I' m actually looking for a new job and I wanted to know if it would be a given that I would get mad action from the job. Report as inappropriate. 4/1/ Dennis O. Fremont, CA. friends; reviews. A lot of touching happens during training .

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People Are Doing It At Your Gym: 6 Personal Trainer Secrets

Cracked only offers comment voting to subscribing members. Subscribers also have access to loads of hidden content. Join now I Am Hookup A Personal Trainer wield the awesome power of the thumb. If you're already an awesome Cracked subscriber, click here to login. It's been months since you signed up for that gym membership, see more yet here you are, staring at a screen instead of working out.

Maybe you're making the right choice. Sure, sitting on your ass will almost certainly kill you sooner, but at least you'll be spared the pain, lies, and body fluids you know a gym trip will bring.

And at least you won't have to look at the smiling face of a personal trainer like Ryan George, who wants to tell you that I'm proud of the number of clients I've bedded I did a home session once with a woman who suggested exercising in the nude I advised her not to -- the pinching alone!

My Personal Trainer Took Advantage Of Me, And I Loved Every Second Of It

I had a male client invite me to a threesome with his wife again, I said no; that is not what we mean by a "partner membership". At a hotel gym, I worked with a client who wanted me to massage his glutes and asked if I'd ever been with a man I told him that I wasn't trained in butt massage. Less ethical trainers take advantage, though. There was one I worked with who went after every attractive woman that came in. One day, a girl came storming onto the fitness floor and asked every staff member where he was, but he was nowhere to be found.

A few minutes later, there was a loud link The girl didn't know about the trainer's reputation and found out that he had been hooking up with someone else.

The gym ended up canceling both women's memberships for fighting. They kept the trainer, though, as he had among the best sales numbers at the gym. One high-end gym that I was working at tried to incentivize us to stay on-site all day by building a "sleeping" room for the personal trainers, complete with bunk beds.

I Am Hookup A Personal Trainer

Yes, some genius thought it was a smart idea for a group of mostly young, attractive, and single trainers to have their own bedroom in the gym, and much to everyone's shock and amazement, the room became a love-den. I did try the room out for its intended purpose on one occasion, only to have my nap interrupted by two trainers working each other out. Eventually, we lost access to the room because the housekeeping staff refused to clean it.

Never go barefoot in a steam room. At the place I work now, the steam room is pretty regularly stained with semen.

I Am Hookup A Personal Trainer

It's most likely the result of jacking off pre-workout, which supposedly drops your blood pressure and relaxes you. Hey, they say you have to wipe only your sweat down after you're finished. Like most of the service industry, gyms hire with an eye toward beauty. As a manager told me, I have to be what the client wants me to be. To female trainers, he said, "If it's a guy, you have to give him a really tough workout. When he's finished, take him to the massage table.

Massage his legs, stretch him out, and when you are doing the hamstring stretch, lean over, expose a bit of cleavage and say, 'I'd like you to be my client. What kind of package can I put you down for? It's pretty clear what kind of business he thought he was running, and it here involve a lot of careful vetting of continue reading. As a result, many of us didn't have any.

Some take multiple-choice online tests and use that, plus their visible muscles, to get hired. Don't assume your trainer is some former athlete or even passionate about fitness -- many join up just because they think it'll be an easy job. But all that isn't necessarily the case. When I first joined one high-end gym, one of my fellow newbies was a stunning fitness model. She ended up getting lots of attention from the male clientele but couldn't turn that into paying clients and quit the source altogether.

She was at the top of her field because she knew her shit, plain and simple. So pick that up. I can confirm some of the stuff Cracked joked about in this video: We really do count on a certain percentage of members signing up but not using the facility.

If most gyms were used by anything close to the full roster of members, they'd be way beyond capacity. One time, a major blizzard back in the early s basically shut down the city, but we stayed open.

Scores of lapsed members, with nothing else to do and against all expectations, made their way through our doors. It was the busiest day that gym ever had, there wasn't nearly enough equipment for everyone, and it was a goddamn madhouse.

Luckily, it's pretty hard I Am Hookup A Personal Trainer get trampled in a treadmill stampede. Capitol Records Treadmill-related injuries have dropped drastically ever since OK Go canceled their membership. Beyond tricking the masses into memberships they'll never use, we're supposed to sign clients up for personal sessions because that's where the real money is. So once we've got people in the fitness room, we click here them the gym itself will do nothing for them, and they need one-on-one time if they want to improve.

Not because of our knowledge, necessarily: The true selling point of a personal trainer is having to look somebody in the face and promise you'll come to the gym at a specific time and date. It's harder to stay on the couch when you've made that personal and financial commitment. You need to earn it back.

Granted, that certainly adds the quiver of impropriety — but it might also mean they lose their job. One of the greatest challenges for female clients and many guys if they are honest is emotional eating. There's no proper answer to it. Of course it did.

Sometimes they do fight I Am Hookup A Personal Trainer with your willpower, though. It's a terrible argument, from what I heard. I never got around to using it, because hell is basically one big steam room -- can you imagine how much semen is on the floor? Here are link subjects a qualified trainer can speak on, ideally with a pumping dance beat backing them up: That's the ideal list, remember -- we may not know anything about any of that stuff.

We may just look rockin' in spandex. Whatever the case, we are most certainly not authorities on nutrition, rehabilitation, or anything medical. Yet in every gym you'll find trainers happy to advise you on all of those things no matter how disastrous the consequences.

You have to eat another man's heart to gain his strength. I know one trainer whose client was struggling due to trainer incompetence, mostlyso he said, "Tell your doctor you have asthma and have them give you a prescription for Advair. That will help you with your cardio.

Jumping in with both feet to corrective exercise strategies I got into it and pushed a few clients away because they hired me for one goal and I trained them for another. Comment below and let us know. Privacy and terms at the bottom of this page. It was insane, the things that happened inside me when he said punishment.

One client wanted to get in shape for her August wedding, so her trainer put her in a sauna I Am Hookup A Personal Trainer to run on the treadmill the morning of the wedding to fit into her dress.

And then there was the trainer who decided to fix a client's back pain using check this out exercises" that obviously just made the pain worse. We barely dodged a lawsuit on that one. Even I'm not immune to the occasional climb up my own ass.

I used to tell clients doing bench presses to touch the barbell to their chests. Then I learned this was shredding up their shoulder jointsso I stopped, but others still insist on it. Leg extensions are what everyone uses to build their quads, but I tell people not to because they're ruining their knees in the process -- you'll still see a shiny leg extension machine in every gym.

I Am Hookup A Personal Trainer trainer will tell you the lat pull has to go behind the neck, and I've seen that do terrible things to people's shoulders long-termbut I've heard other trainers insist that doing it in front of chest, like I say to, is also bad.

At one gym I worked at, the first Monday of every month, a guy in a suit would show up, change into workout gear, and take a black backpack into the gym with him. The man, who we dubbed "the doctor," would do a minute session.

At some point, he would casually place the backpack somewhere behind the pull-up station, and the fitness manager would later take it with him into the office. For the next week, all the Terminator-looking guys walked in to the fitness manager's office when the sales manager wasn't around. I got the feeling they weren't discussing that quarter's revenue. One trainer I know sends his clients to a doctor at an anti-aging clinic, advising them to claim that they're suffering from low testosterone.

The doctor then runs a series of tests which magically confirm this, and the client, whose only real symptom continue reading a lack of swoleness, skips away with a legal prescription for testosterone.

You can even get your insurance to pay for shrinking your testicles. Cracked has told you over and over that the number of people who lose a large amount of weight and keep it off is statistically zero. Now, I have worked with people who've transformed their bodies in phenomenal ways, so I'm not going to say it's impossible to lose weight, but it is much harder than most people think.

A large part of that is because the fitness routines we prescribe you are unsustainable, and we know this. Most people will get through the first few days of a training routine just fine, and we'll tell them it will get easier, but in reality, it gets harder.

If it starts to get easier, you'll stop seeing results. And anytime you take on a new project, whether it's starting a fitness routine or a custom dildo business, I Am Hookup A Personal Trainer steals from something else in your life.

I try not to set unrealistic expectations: During my first meeting with a client, I extract as much info as possible on the person's lifestyle, mindset, goals, and exercise history, then try drafting a plan they can actually follow.

But if gyms everywhere told clients the truth -- that there is no finish line; you can never say, "OK, I Am Hookup A Personal Trainer I have a six-pack, so I'm finished with my body and now I can focus all of my time on video games"; that maintaining that six-pack is now your part-time job for the rest of your life; and the older you get, the more work it will take -- a billion-dollar industry would disappear overnight. Forget rising health-insurance premiums -- that's how fat would cripple the economy.

Day in the Life: Personal Trainer

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