Hes 21 Im 15
Just don't be surprised when he's out partying and she can't because she's not of the legal drinking age and he and his friends consider her a liability or find her too mentally immature to handle their idea of fun (drunken or not). Plus, she probably has a curfew, and he has none, so while she's sleeping in her bed, he could. 9 Oct I'm sixteen and i just started dating a 22 year ol that i met at a concert. Your right I dont think it is wrong and im sure the guy your dating dosent. . Personally, I find it hard to see how a 22 year old could go out with a 16 year old as when I was 22 I was interested in girls my own age - they are a world apart. My cousin is 21, going on 22 in August. Most states in the US say you must be atleast 18 years old to have sex without the consent of parents. .. I don't see any problem with a 21 year old and a 16 year old, as long as they are looking out for each others best interests and the guy isn't taking advantage.. which if anything.
Hi there We're new to this, but after the weekend we had we need advice. Our daughter has been perfect while growing, up, sure she had some issue's with bullying at school, but she found a college course, left school early and has done really well.
She has a goal to aim for, she wants to go to Uni to study psychology and work with young offenders. But, a few months ago while still 15, a 22 year old friend of a friend showed an unhealthy interest in her. She was interested in him too, however, we managed to stop that as she was under the age of consent.
It was her first weekend out staying with a girl we hardly knew, she managed to get drunk and sleep with this guy over the weekend. They heavy petted but luckily she came home still a virgin. I say that as neither of them had contraception on them and they were sleeping on the friends sofa.
This man had asked her how far did she want to go, so if she had said all the way, he'd have slept with her with no contraception, took her virginity on a sofa where she could have bled. It then came out he already has a 3 year old son from a previous relationship. He smokes pot because he has stress and anger issues, has a troubled family past and isn't article source. Our daughter is very mature in her manner yet not worldly wise, we hoped she'd have time to develop that, to learn steadily not in one massive jump.
We met the lad yesterday and gave the pair of them a lecture and a half. She is going on the contraceptive injection, and he is going for STI checks too. I've told him if he takes her virginity he'd better make it special as although she will be a notch on his bedpost only, she will remember it the rest of her life!
Jess has so much in front of her, her college work etc and we feel this man has no hope Will he be controlling? How can he be so selfish when she has her teenage years to live he's already had his. She will want to go to concerts, pictures etc We are so frightened that Jess is about to throw it all away on someone she only knew continue reading a weekend!
Ok I'm sorry I could not even read your whole post because it just bothered me too much, try to put a stop to this, 22 is such a different level of maturity from a 16 year old, often older people date a younger person to try to control and manipulate them into doing what they shouldn't be doing, do whatever you have to to keep her away from him, is this illegal in your area, could you get a restraining order?
On the one hand, if you try to separate her from him, chances are she will rebel and feel alienated from you and tied to him. On the other hand, if you don't separate her from him, she could fall into his way of life and, I'm sorry, a 22yo man who pursues a 16yo girl most likely has some loser tendencies!
I would say that your position depends mostly on the character and disposition of the people who could pose a threat to your relationship. C'est la vie in your particular jurisdiction. I remember him fondly, but while it seemed like a big deal at the time, I really just went out with him a couple of times right before I left for college.
I guess the only thing you can do is express your concerns. Let her know she can do better, that she has lots of time for those things and that you've always been so proud of how she has been determined and known what she wanted and you hope she doesn't lose sight of that.
BUT that no matter what she decides, you will be supportive and you hope she understands the possible consequences and protects herself against them, and that she can always come to you for help.
As for contraception, I'd almost rather not put my 16yo on it. With it, she is more likely to have unprotected sex. Pregnancy is the only thing a contraceptive pill or injection can protect her from and that's the least of the negative outcomes having sex can result in as far as I'm concerned.
Hi there Thanks for you replies, unfortunately in the UK once you're 16 sex is legal and there is nothing we can do. Her virginity is her's to do with as she wishes. We thought we had bought her up right, always being very open and frank, never afraid to answer a question no matter how indepth it was She knows that they MUST wear a condom should they have sex, and that the injection is there to prevent any pregnancy, however the STI's are more of a worry as he has had more partners whereas she has had none.
I've told her of my own experiences in the past, I was 18 and had a 23 year old boyfriend who was violent, controlling and took drugs and explained how awful it was for everyone involved, however it seems that the "lights are on but no one's home". She just doesn't seem to be taking it in. I'm not sure what that knowledge does to help the situation, but it reinforces the notion that a 16 yo shouldn't be falling in love for a lifetime BUT, as you 've already observed you can't talk he into anything.
I'm thinking the best you can do is help her to focus on her goals, invest yourself in helping her achieve them and show her little by little how this guy isn't part of the plan to get her where she really wants to be. This decision is probably going to have to come from 22 Year Old Guy Dating 16 Year Old. The best you can do is help her see it. Yes, there may be slightly visit web page mature children than others, but just by life experience alone, the man in this relationship is even more "mature.
I seriously don't think it ever crossed my mind, especially when there were a million 22 year old girls all around who had their own cars and apartments. I think the best thing to do in this situation is not to lecture her constantly or try to frighten her about sex or anything like that. I know that will only push her away from you and more towards the man. Instead, you should invest in more one on one time, try to remind her of who she is, as a member of the family, how much she is loved and valued, so that she sees that she is very precious and sex isn't something to consider lightly, especially when the man is someone so much older.
She should see her own worth for herself and be constantly reminded of that by you the parents. I wish she will eventually realize that he is loser. I agree with most of the post above, don't push her instead help her focus on important things like her studies and dreams.
Make her feel she can tell you everything that is going on with her and her relationship with this guy. I'll throw in my.
It is just rational thinking to believe there is something not right with that. Send a private message to IADad. Last edited by dean; at Yeah, I know it's not a real rule but it does have a certain intuitive appeal. All this said, I wouldn't date anyone 6 years younger than me at this stage of life consent laws, don't want to feel like older brother, etc.
I was 21 when I met my now ex wife when she was I fully admit that at the time I was a loser and her parents had every right and reason to try to keep us apart. In my case, the parents sucked and she was looking for an escape, she wanted out of the house and saw me as a route to that goal. She got emancipated and we soon moved in together and had a child. My son is 17 now and our marriage lasted 15 years, which I daresay is longer than most marriages between people with "their lives in order", he lives with me and I am a productive member of society working in a technical capacity in the healthcare industry.
The problem with trying to keep them apart is that the girl will get the "romeo and juliet" complex and further romanticize the relationship because "the forbidden love and the world is trying to keep us apart" crap kicks in. I suppose a few are looking for a weak girl that is easy to control but in my experience it is more about being undesirable to their own age group. In my case, I know it was more opportunity than anything else, I was working in a warehouse, long hours, and not going anywhere that women my age went so I never met them, I met my wife at a football game my little brother was playing in.
Holy cow what a scary situation! In your position I think I might enter a mild state of panic I was in your daughters position once upon a time, however, and it wasn't that long ago.
That "love" I thought I was feeling was all attraction- that guy really knew how to push my buttons and loved to do it. He was a parents nightmare, however, as an active raver and drug user.
As bad as 22 Year Old Guy Dating 16 Year Old entire situation could have turned out, however, it all ended up for the better. We never did have sex, and I have grown to truly love him- as a very good friend. One thing my parents did was stay involved with the whole thing, however. He was invited over for dinners and various small parties, and was treated like one of my friends, regardless of his age.
My dad did tease me a lot about him- but it was his way of warning me, and it centered me more than anything else could. So I guess what I'm saying is, stay involved in with them. The more fun they are having with you, the less trouble they are tempted to get into elsewhere. BB code is On. All times are GMT The time now is Parenting Forums - Privacy Statement - Top. Page 1 of 2. Send a private message to Momof1.
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