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What to Do If You're Not Sexually Attracted to Your Husband

19 Oct I'm not a very sexual person, and because of that I don't think I feel sexually attracted by looks. My boyfriend however, is very sexual, so this has been a struggle since the beginning. We've been together for 9 years. For me, is about to make an effort on starting the thing, I have no problem on doing it when. I have been considering wether or not to remain in this relationship. He adores me and wants to marry me. I remain ambivalent. My family loves him too. I told them about my sexual issue and they suggested I try to work it out because a good man is so hard to find. Does comfort and security mean lack of. 20 Jun I'm not attracted to my husband sexually. What can I do about this? A common problem. Importance of sex in marriage, reasons women aren't attracted, what to do about it. When divorce is not an option.

This problem is more prevalent than you think. Many women are bonded to men for better or worse that they aren't sexually attracted to.

Not Sexually Attracted To My Boyfriend

Sometimes the wives love their husbands, sometimes they like them, and sometimes they don't. There is a lot you can do to help ensure this lack of attraction doesn't affect your marriage for long. We discuss the importance of sex in marriage, some common reasons women aren't attracted to their husbands sexually, and what to do about it.

Do you enjoy the physical aspect of your relationship but there are no fireworks going off for you? Mere bodies fail to turn me on. He went from fit to flabby and then to outright overweight. I really appreciate you telling this story.

This article is for women who do not consider divorce an option. Be comforted by the fact that there is a reason they have called sexual relations with husbands a "wifely duty. There are perhaps hundreds of millions of women across the world who have felt this way -- at least at one time or another, and others feel this way all the time.

The legal system in the United States considers a consistent lack of marital sex a reason for divorce. And interestingly, Judaic scriptures write that it is the husband's obligation to have sex with his wife. So it goes both ways. So unless you have a medical condition that makes sex difficult, unpleasurable, or impossible, it is in your best interest to find a way to have sex with your husband even though you aren't attracted to him this way. Another angle to consider is that your husband loved you enough to marry you, which is an increasingly rare expression of love by men in our Not Sexually Attracted To My Boyfriend era.

Consider yourself lucky that you weren't led on by him, and he honored you with this commitment.

i love my boyfriend but im not sexually attracted to him anymore Archives - The Spark

There are many women who would really love to be in your shoes. You might not be excited by your lust each day for him, but knowing you have that security of marriage through him might give your senses a little bit of warmth.

You married him because he had great "husband" qualities: But you were never sexually attracted to him to begin with.

Not Sexually Attracted To My Boyfriend

He has physically changed over the years and you don't find his appearance to be a turn-on anymore. Perhaps he is balding or 50 pounds heavier than when you met. All you know is that he doesn't look like the sexy guy you married anymore.

He has said or done things that have hurt you over time. You no longer see him as agreeable to your senses. You have learned about the chinks in his armor, and you feel like you can't turn back from this.


So you can see from the points above, although you might not be sexually attracted to your husband, consistent sex improves your attachment to him and your bond as a married couple.

That alone will be worth your effort. Whatever you do, as long as you wish to remain married, working on sexual desire and intimacy should be a priority. It will be highly rewarding for both you and your spouse. Sex has the ability to bring magic back into your marriage or help place it there when there really wasn't much to begin with.

Some Typical Reasons Why Women Are Not Attracted to Their Husbands ...

Two people in a marriage are constantly evolving. You can choose how to evolve. To comment on this article, you must sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners.

HubPages and Hubbers authors may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others. Hearts and Lattes more. What can I do about this?

Hi Steve and Mia This is exactly how I handled the situation with my ex-boyfriend. This is done for many reasons. In the 7 years we were together I never found him very attractive, even though I thought he was beautiful. Unless it's like morning or late at night and he's tired while I'm super horny and just indulges me in a quick something, but doesn't have the need to cum himself.

Part of the Job Be comforted by the fact that there is a reason they have called sexual relations with husbands a "wifely duty. Problem 1 You married him because he had great "husband" qualities: Problem 2 He has physically changed over the years and you don't find his here to be a turn-on anymore.

Problem 3 He has said or done things that have hurt you over time. This is done for many reasons. Some of them are because we are still naturally inclined to feel shy about sex and because other more powerful physical senses take over.

But if you don't like to actively think about sex with your spouse while you are having it, closing your eyes during this time is okay too. There are awkward moments we all experience during sex and a lack of feeling fully in the moment is an okay reason to close your eyes as well.

Oddly enough, not having to face your spouse during sex allows you to embrace the physical and psychological excitement of sex without acknowledging the aspects you don't like. Get Lost In the Feeling Whether you have a low sex drive or not, when you are about to be intimate, forget about everything else but the feeling.

Don't worry about how your husband looks, how you look, about how you don't get along, about past mistakes he's made. Forget it all and get lost in how the sensation feels of being touched in the right places. You will be amazed at what the promise of an orgasm does for your level of sexual interest, and what an orgasm for both of you Not Sexually Attracted To My Boyfriend do for your relationship.

When you were at your fittest? Do you remember the days before he said those things that hurt your feelings? Do you remember when you had that great date together -- long ago -- that made you feel really loved and secure and happy? Deep down you are both of those same people, and that can never be truly lost.

Marriage, as you know, takes a great deal of work. And as time passes we forget some of go here magic if we don't actively refine our appreciation for the better parts of our spouses as we change over time.

And whether the magic was based on physical attraction, a deep sense of caring, love, or affection, you can harness that into physical love. By relaxing, using your imagination to take you back to the better parts, and opening yourself up, literally. You will probably find there is a lot more to love that you just forgot about. Why Sex is So Important in Not Sexually Attracted To My Boyfriend Sex bonds a husband and wife together through the production of Not Sexually Attracted To My Boyfriend, the hormone released during orgasm that increases feelings of love and attachment between the couple.

The power of touch.

Both sexual and romantic touching increases the feeling click intimacy between a couple. Since this touching is reserved for a husband and wife only, the idea is that no one else in the world can provide you pleasure the way your spouse does.

Women who experience regular orgasms or heightened sexual pleasure report better moods and happier lives. Sex releases stress in both women and men, and this makes your walk through life a more pleasant one, despite the ups and downs of daily existence.

In The Sex-Starved Marriageby Michele Weiner Davis, the author explores just how much the mood of your marriage will improve with more frequent sex. When you provide your husband with a consistent level of sex, it improves his tendencies as an empathetic partner, as you are viewed as a Not Sexually Attracted To My Boyfriend spouse in providing him with pleasure.

This need for consistent pleasure is biologically wired into men.