5 Ways men express their feelings
20 Jun Addresses 10 common misconceptions that most normal women have about the average men in their lives. It seems that decades of movies with John Waynes and Jason Stathams have convinced women that guys don't have feelings. We do. In fact, we look to the women in our lives for validation, love. 2 Sep Recently one of my single girlfriends came to this conclusion that she needed to prove herself to the guy she was dating because he told her he was I am scared of getting hurt; You deserve better; I want to take it slow; I don't know what I want; I am confused; When this or that gets better, things will change. 24 Dec Have you watched him try to find a way around admitting his feelings to you? Have you dealt with a man who seemed so confused that you wanted to draw him a map? It can be frustrating. It can feel impossible to figure out. But if you take the time to explore the REASONS behind why men hide their feelings.
The myth that men are unfeeling creates damaging relationship problems. Because of the way boys are socialized, their ability to deal with emotions has been systematically undermined. Men are taught, point-by-point, not to feel, not to cry, and not to find words to express themselves.
Just because men aren't adept at expressing their feelings, don't for a minute think they don't feel, and feel deeply. Many times, men express their feelings using a secret code—a code that even they can't decipher.
Men may convert one feeling into another. Men may convert stereotypically feminine feelings, such as sadness or vulnerability, into feelings like anger or pride—feelings more socially acceptable for them to experience.
I remember a couple that came to see me in distress because they had recently learned their teenage daughter had been assaulted by a boyfriend. A major conflict arose because John was threatening to kill the boyfriend, upsetting his wife and daughter tremendously.
They worried he might actually seek revenge and end up in jail.
5 Ways men express their feelings
With some Do Guys Get Confused Their Feelings, I was able to help John express his true feelings: He cried, stating that he felt responsible for what had happened—as though he should've been able to protect his daughter.
He felt terribly sad that his daughter was going through such pain, and he fell justifiably angry. After he expressed the full range of his feelings, he no longer threatened to kill the young man and was better able to support his daughter in helpful ways.
Men may shift their feelings into another arena. Men may express emotions only in places where they feel safe, and where the expression of feelings is considered acceptable. Just look at how men act at sports events: It's not uncommon to see them express great exuberance and affection, giving each other hugs and high-fives. Football and hockey players, Do Guys Get Confused Their Feelings of as some of the most "macho" men around, appear quite comfortable expressing their feelings with each other during a game.
Where else would you see men slapping each other playfully on the butt? Put these same men in another context, and you probably wouldn't see the same level of openness and comfort. Men may experience their feelings through physical complaints. It's not uncommon to see men experience their feelings through things such as headaches are backaches.
You may know of a man who gets headaches only on the weekends, or becomes sick during vacations. Why does this this web page Because as long as men are working, they can cut off their feelings.
Without the structure of work, however, their feelings and needs surface, and may be expressed through physical symptoms. Men are in a "double-bind" when it comes to expressing emotions. Society encourages men to express their feelings, but when they do, their partners are often petrified, if not horrified.
Women, they may believe, want their partners to show their feelings, but only certain feelings, and only in doses they can handle. In fact, results from numerous research studies—as well as clinical experience—tells us that men may be right to be wary of women who implore them to show their true feelings. Men who deviate from the traditional masculine norm by being emotionally expressive and talking about their fears are often judged as being poorly adjusted.
Part of the problem for some men may be that they have silenced their feelings for so long that they haven't developed resources for handling them when they do arise. Such unplanned, unexpected emotion can often prove overwhelming. I worked with one couple for whom this was the case: Rob had taken a new job several hours away. Emily stayed back, preparing their house for a sale. At the same time, they argued about whether or not to get a dog.
Emily argued that a dog would provide her with some needed company, and make her feel secure when alone in their home. In his logical, analytical way, Rob gave her every reason why the timing was not right, for example: How could you show the house with a puppy running around, peeing on the floor?
Do Guys Get Confused Their Feelings an intellectual level, Emily knew he was right, but her heart insisted she would be happier with the dog. They went through several weekends during which all they did was fight about the dog issue. Emily thought Rob was being cold and unfeeling. Rob thought Emily was being unreasonable.
There are very specific psychological reasons why females go for the bad boys while the nice guys sit around depressed and lonely while foolishly thinking that if they continue to keep being nice and following dumb "just be yourself"advice, their dating lives will magically change for the better. They worried he might actually seek revenge and end up in jail. When you met this man, you knew he was a guy with a lot of goals, ambition, and drive. They were "nice guys" but confident, firm, woman smart--and charmed the daylights out of women. Akshta says "read an article" to learn but I say actual interaction with people friends to learn.
When Rob saw all those rows and rows of dogs in cages, knowing that most of them would probably be put to death, he began sobbing. Emily said she had never seen him cry so hard. She had been thinking to herself that he didn't have any feelings, when nothing could have been further from the truth. My own observation has been that many men experience intense emotions Do Guys Get Confused Their Feelings, lacking the training and support to make sense of those feelings, they are left with few options but to bury them deeper.
It's only when men are taken off guard such as when Rob visited the animal shelter that their feelings are free to surface. So, no, men are not unfeeling. Steps Toward a More Spiritual Marriage. Thanks for this insightful post Yup, sure feels like a double or even triple bind.
I'm supposed to be emotionally available, but also strong and brave and self reliant http://minimoving.info/ry/how-to-become-close-to-a-girl.php have all the answers and be able to deal with everything fearlessly I'm a woman, and I feel exactly those same pressures. I think it's a cultural problem that has evolved to encompass both genders.
Feelings expressed, unless anger, are seen as a weakness. That makes everyone repressed and neurotic. This reminds me of my husband. Early in our relationship. We got a puppy and the puppy got out of the apt as we were doing laundry in a separate laundry room.
We searched and searched but could notfind him. My man lost it. He Do Guys Get Confused Their Feelings and was positively unconsollable. He's scared and alone and so small. Ok I was sad but I'm not proud of it. I was scared and never saw how upset he was.
I link wow you love this puppy more than me. Since he had never showed emo that strong with me. So I think we need to educate women on their expectations of men alongside self reliance. So your old husband was thrown to the wayside for a condition precipitated by known triggers. And now you are happy with your life! I have this happen to me and I am a woman. My partner and family and so forth often think I am cold, but if I cry or show anger, they get baffled or scared or whatever and unsettled until I go back to being the strong silent one.
I just don't think it happens only to men. I agree, I've seen it apply to women too. But for the most part, society is OK with women who cry; whereas, almost no men are allowed to cry except in very exceptional circumstances e. Wow, this is spot on! You always feel like you're in a no win situation. It appears women just don't want to take the time to build a strong secure healthy relationship where a man can be secure enough to express their feelings without being ridiculed, embarrassed and demeaned.
It's a shame because to truly love someone you have to willing to be vulnerable and as long as that secure environment is not present it will be very difficult to express your true love.
Why are guys confused about their feelings towards girls ?
Women tell men to express their feelings, but when they do, women are often petrified, if not horrified. Women want men to show their feelings, but only certain feelings, and only in doses they can handle. I think you're quite right about the double bind and women's often conflicting expectations.
I know I'm encouraged to express my emotions at home. As long as they're about my wife and positive in nature.
Anything else seems to get labeled defensive, judgemental, or swept under the carpet as the conversation comes to a quick close. I also think some of the "men don't know what they're feeling" has a lot to do with this.
I know that when my wife is wound up or needy, it's a lot easier to play dumb about what's bugging me than tell her and set off a good fight. I know exactly what I'm feeling. I am just smart enough to keep it to myself because I KNOW the awful consequences of coming link as the nice guy Therefore, I now keep most of my feelings to myself and play the game because that is the best option and I've noticed my success with women skyrocket as I learned to do this properly and stop being the nice sensitive straight forward honest guy who talks about feelings and started being more mysterious, somewhat aloof and jerkish.
People can say whatever they want or try to convince themselves that they are different from the rest, but.
Why are guys confused about their feelings towards girls ? - GirlsAskGuys
And I would be foolish to stop doing what has been working for Do Guys Get Confused Their Feelings to go back to doing things that did not work for me. There are very specific psychological reasons why females go for the bad boys while the nice guys sit around depressed and lonely while foolishly thinking that if they continue to keep being nice and following dumb "just be yourself"advice, their continue reading lives will magically change for the better.
However, I will not even waste my time typing too much further and getting into all that because I need to move on to other things and there is plenty of material all over the net to explain the psychological reasoning behind it. You really think too bad of men. If you believe women are dating "bad guys" while the nice ones are left alone
When it comes to confidence. Very interesting its good to get insight from a guys perspective. They have no feelings and will throw you away like you are nothing once they get bored with the sex. This all reminds me of the old song: Ask yourself how far that strategy has EVER gotten source with a man.