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29 Jul I have been seeing a married man for a year, we have discussed his leaving his wife, he wants to he says, but loves his 2 children too much to leave. . me to a man she knew was a pedophile from the age of 3 onward, that she was trying to hurt me permanently so that she could be the martyr mother who. So, I haven't ever successfully written a post for help on reddit before so I hope this works and I hope to god I put it under non-romantic like I. What I don't see is how it would benefit his wife to hear about a possible divorce from a stranger, unless there's a financial advantage to her for filing first wherever she lives. Involving his wife could force the divorce and could lead him to placing his blame for whatever pain.

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Mom Is Dating A Married Man

Post anything that is relevant to your current relationship that you want to discuss. Make sure that it's a question, which will invite answers and offerings.

This sub is about click here people in need - If you are not providing such help i. Please report comments that you feel are in violation of these guidelines to keep discussions constructive. At any time mods may remove or refer posts to other subs as we deem appropriate, and our decisions are final. So, I haven't ever successfully written a post for help Mom Is Dating A Married Man reddit before so I hope this works and I hope to god I put it under non-romantic like I think I did.

I'm nervous as you can tell. So, first off, I'm just going to give a little insight on my relationship before this with my mother. Bottom line, it's always been terrible. My mom had me, and then my grandparents moved in from miles and miles away to come help her raise me. Well, they didn't ''help'' her raise me, they literally raised me on their own. My mom was awful at being a mom.

Read more was a bartender and worked late and slept all day. I guess she was trying to show them she was a good mom.

And then I found out it was just for work and that confused me so when she was leaving my grandparents had to drag me away from her and inside because I was screaming and crying and yelling for my mom to go trick or treating with me. She often argued with my grandparents about how they raised me, she'd get upset that they hadn't asked her something first, but she was never around or awake for them to ask her permission for some things.

Mom Is Dating A Married Man always got upset with her, for fighting with them so bluntly infront of me, I never understood what was happening.

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That's another story though. She kicked my grandparents out, took them away from me, and we moved into a new city into a new house far from my grandparents and I missed them terribly. My mom was so new to mothering that it didn't work very well, and she only did it for show, most of the time I was being parented by his 18 year Mom Is Dating A Married Man or him, my mom's fiance, because she didn't know how to step in. She easily got frustrated with me.

I didn't like it. It just made me rebel more and it was always MY fault that we couldn't be a ''family. How could I ever take that seriously? So, eventually, the marriage did not work and we were forced to live with my grandparents for a short time, and then my mom and I, as I got older, got along worse and worse so we did therapy and it never helped.

My mom began drinking more and more until one night we got physically violent with eachother and at 14, I moved out and in with my grandparents after a long custody battle with my mom. I still loved her but I wanted to be with people who weren't drunk and destructive and messy with their lives.

No place for a child to be living. It's been two years now I've lived with her and I'm 18, and it was only good for a couple of months and she started check this out again. I don't bring friends over. I had some friends from out of town over at the house for movies and such, and all my mom does is drink and sit at a computer in the living room when she isn't working.

She got so drunk that she almost threw up on her keyboard. It was so annoying and embarrassing and I'm at the point in my life where I've dealt with this simple Mom Is Dating A Married Man drunk woman my whole life that it's like I don't even have patience anymore or any empathy. Granted, there are problems with me too and I have a short temper due to my lack article source patience with her now, and I can be lazy and bitchy for no reason.

Literally every night, the walls are so thin in the house, no matter where I'm at, after she's done drinking for the night and eats her one meal a day, and gets ready for bed, I hear her throwing up in the bathroom. Our relationship has always been shitty and I've always ignored it, but like I said, my mom tries to interfere with my life when she starts dating. But before she starts dating she always brings up how she can't see people because I ruin her life.

That I embarrass her. But I've really really have tried not to do those things this time. To be a mature adult that respects my mother's wishes.

She says that her birthdays have now stopped. Unless she says "I'm cheating", don't offer your opinion and stay out of it. Well, they didn't ''help'' her raise me, they literally raised me on their own.

I've basically been raising myself the times I've lived with her, I've always been sort of on my own, and when she tries to step in and mother me, I get pissy. Because all of a sudden I have a curfew now, and it's completely useless because I'm I get the whole living together peacefully, but I'm tired of her trying to use the mom card on me now when she's never even cared to mother me before.

Their relationship is very bad though. Maybe not for them, but for everyone around them. They met at her place of work, a bar, and he started off tipping her very, very, very generously.

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I'm talking dollars. Almost every night he came in. Like, twice a month or so he'd give her 1, in tips. And has been for 30 years. She'd explain to me how his wife didn't want to do things with him, or go places. So their Mom Is Dating A Married Man was justified because SHE went places and did things with him. They've been on several trips and he's bought her thousands of dollars worth of jewelry and items and even new furniture and a new computer.

He's even tried to spoil me. This went on for awhile, and I tried not to care, but then he started coming around almost everyday. He calls her every morning at 8 AM. He's actually bossy, even if he's nice. Then he got her on a schedule so that he could spend time with her. She literally wakes up early as shit every morning because he has trained her to. She's completely fallen in love with this man, and he's good in his ways, he's fixed our house up and made sure we never went without, even though it's frustrating my mom isn't taking care of herself and working just because a MAN doesn't want her to.

What kind of message does that send to me?

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And now, she's trying to let him co-parent me. He's just click for source because I go out with my friends and boyfriend and don't always tell her when I'll be back.

Before, I'd go off for several days and she'd never once even fucking ask me where I am. It's like he's brainwashing her into a different, bitchier person.

I know it sounds like I'm just angry because she's trying to make rules, but that's not it. I guess it isn't.

I don't really know. All I know is if he has a problem with her smoking, and he wants her to stop, she'll try and Mom Is Dating A Married Man, but I have to live with her and her being a drunk but he encourages her drinking when I almost had her admitting she needed help. Now she's convinced she's fine. I know none of it matters anymore or what I want, because I'm 18, I could move Mom Is Dating A Married Man, I'm legally an adult now.

I know all that. But it's not the case. I can't leave just yet. I have to live with her. It's as if she has no thoughts of her own now, and her man makes every choice for her now. She spends no time with me and makes no effort to better our relationship and it's because of him, and yet he has convinced her she needs to put her foot down on me. When she doesn't even spend time with me.

For anyone saying my brother and I were snooping, we weren't. Ages, genders and relationship length required! It was the guy from the store.

I have tried and put forth effort. The guy, my grandparents don't even like him. He only just recently moved out and separated from her, but he's made so many excuses not to leave her anyways. And my mom is totally okay with being, basically, someone's hidden seceret. He came into the house the other day without knocking and goes to the bathroom and joyfully says, "baby, you got me a beer ready? Please tell me I'm making sense. Please tell me I'm not crazy.

I know I may be in the wrong somewhere, and please let me know if I am. I'm just tired of this dumb sack of shit interfering, and she keeps letting him interfere Mom Is Dating A Married Man OUR relationship and the way she tries to parent me. To give you better insight on him, he has all these business and does all these things for us, like fixing up our house, it's not him physically doing anything, he has people he pays to do everything for him.

He's also a very big know it all and he's loud and obnoxious about it.

Mom Is Dating A Married Man

It's like when you have a conversation with him, you don't feel confident to state your opinion because he's just gonna shoot it down, and he acts nice and shit about it but you can just tell he's an asshole.

I know there's probably nothing I can do, unless I move out, but even if you have no advice on how to better my situation, if you've been through Mom Is Dating A Married Man similar just tell me how you got through it.

I just want her to stop letting a man control her and make all her decisions for her, especially when it comes to me, and I just want us to get help and have better communication skills with eachother.

Thats all I want. TL;DR My mom and I have a bad relationship and always have, and now that she's dating someone, a wealthy married someone, she's trying to impress him and parent me through him. He encourages all her bad and decisions, and won't try and get family counseling with me because he has convinced her she doesn't need it.

There's also friction between us because I don't agree with her relationship, but I'm trying to be supportive of her, because I literally don't care about her relationship until now because he's fucking controlling her.

I'm sorry this is sooo long! Bide your time and move out at the earliest opportunity.