Five Things You Should Consider Before Dating A Stoner
My daughter is dating a stoner?
Why didn't you put a no-dating rule until she was sixteen? Tell her that she can't date him because being a stoner is, well, socially unacceptable and bad. Also tell her that mj makes your sperm count lower and makes you sound like an idiot. I have been dating a guy for a little over a year now. Since I've quit, I can actually afford to buy myself things more than just once a month, and I can afford to go out with my friends more often. As someone who has been too much of a stupid stoner in the past, I needed friends to confront me about it. 24 May They also anime dating deviantart be the best hookup you ever have, and this is not just an assumption. You know how four out of dating websites oldham dentists recommend Trident? Well I would say four dating newport gwent of five times you hook up with a stoner, you will be as content as.
Dear Wendy is a relationship advice blog. You can read about me hereperuse the archives here and read popular posts here. You can also follow along on Facebook and Instagram. One would hope that, as a Christian, you hold among values most important to you and those that you instilled in article source daughter treating others as you would hope to be treated, being forgiving, loving with an open heart, and being compassionate.
I hope that you can embrace those values now, even if what is more important to you is the perception others have of you and your family.
Or, for that matter, her will? This is an year-old young woman who has been with her boyfriend for here years, so why is it a surprise that she would trust his word over hearsay you picked up from who knows where, especially when you are obviously motivated to end the relationship before it moves to My Daughter Is Dating A Pothead step you are uncomfortable with?
You need to back off and let your daughter live her life. But, I promise you, if you emotionally cut her off because she has chosen to stay with a boyfriend she loves, you will likely lose her. Follow along on Facebook, and Http://minimoving.info/t/fun-things-to-do-in-waterloo-iowa.php. LW — My mother told me that one of the hardest things she has ever done is letting her children go especially when she knew they were going to inevitably make mistakes.
You love your daughter and want what is best for her, and you might be absolutely correct in your assessment of her boyfriend, but she is going to have to learn to stand on her own. She knows your feelings on the guy and the idea of them living together before marriage and obviously is willing to face your disappointment. You have done all that you could to this point and have to trust that she will make good decisions on her own. I completely agree with Wendy. If you continue to push her in a certain way she will continue to rebel more.
But, there is not a lot you can do to make her make the choices you would prefer she make. Napoleon April 28,8: Um… how did you get this information? LW, when I was 18, I was your daughter. They did a number of things as you are to break us up and decide for me, but if anything, it made me more insistent on how I felt.
8 Brutal Truths About Dating (And Living With) A Pothead | YourTango
When it came time to leave for college, I was continue reading to go anywhere, as it was far from them.
We have since repaired our relationship but it took years of work and drawing boundary lines with them before we got to an agreeable place. Was a total jerk, but it was up to me to find that out myself, not my parents, especially when I was an adult at the time.
If anything, I probably stayed with him longer than I should have out of sheer stubbornness and an immature need to defy my parents more than anything else. We are a very Christian family and I have raised her to believe that living together is not okay. I have taken her phone and her My Daughter Is Dating A Pothead, but I am at a total loss as to what else to do, and I am desperate for advice. My heart goes out to you letter writer. I can tell you deeply want what is best for your daughter.
When she came back and announced her plan to abscond with her high school boyfriend because she was convinced her whole family was lying to her, I can understand your panicked reaction. You are now in a delicate position. In your reaction you say that living together is not okay. But if you become desperate for her to avoid choices that are not okay, she will most likely end up avoiding you. It sounds as though your daughter is quite impressionable. Watching her make choices that you believe are going to hurt her must be agonizing.
But as her mother, your duty needs to be focused on her feeling loved and accepted. It will be painful, but YOU MUST make it clear to her that you love and accept her regardless of how strongly you think she is making a mistake. Clearly she already knows how strongly you feel she is making a mistake. Get back on her side.
Are You Dating A Pothead?
Stop cutting isolating her from her car and phone. Prove that her boyfriend and his mother have mischaracterized your family.
Get to know her. Find an ally in her if you can. Your daughter is in love. She is young and the world is huge. Wendy is correct that none of us can predict our journey and which mistakes will make valuable lessons. Your daughter is growing up. We are allowed to make mistakes.
As a Christian, surely you believe in an atonement. And surely, you know it is not for any of us to My Daughter Is Dating A Pothead the moral workings more info another. The decision to support your daughter does not need to conflict you with your faith. Pray for her boyfriend and his mom.
You are absolutely entitled to your views and values but you might be able to maintain contact with a daughter you clearly love if you take a deep breath, and speak to some of the more unconventional people in your social circle who might be able to reassure you that you are tilting at windmills here.
The horrible threat you see looming over her head is really not as scary as you think it is, and if you can be more accepting you will be in a better place to advise her when a real threat is on the horizon. I knew they were right, but would I ever admit that?
And I stayed with him years longer than I should have, to prove a point. Trust that you raised her well enough to discover these things on her own. Skyblossom April 28,9: As a parent raising a child you get to choose how to raise them including teaching them your religious beliefs. Once they are an adult they get to choose their own faith, which can mean no faith or a My Daughter Is Dating A Pothead different faith, and to develop their own moral values.
Easy solution to this issue: As a Christian, surely you believe in an atonement. Please use reddit's voting system to your advantage. Pleased to help if can.
I think you would go a long way toward keeping her in your life if you tell her that you love source and realize that she is now an adult and making her own decisions. He moved My Daughter Is Dating A Pothead and distanced himself and then she complained that he never came to see them. The only way that he could be a man was to distance himself and make his own life decisions.
The only way your daughter can be a woman is to make her own decisions and some of them will be mistakes and it will hurt to see her make them. The only way she can be an adult is to make her own decisions.
If you have been controlling of all of her decisions through childhood to insure she made no mistakes you will find her now making bigger mistakes as a young adult because she is forced to put her foot down or never be her own person but has little experience in making important decisions.
She will have to rebel against you to be able to respect herself. Northern Star April 28,9: I have more sympathy for the LW than Wendy. She can only pray for her, and hope that being a calm, loving presence in her life eventually helps when the daughter wises up and needs a soft place to land. It will be very hard to watch for the LW, but people make all kinds of dumb decisions and come out the other side all right.
It will probably hurt, but LW: Source be proactive about birth control for your daughter. No matter how uncomfortable it makes you, pay for the pills or the shots or whatever she needs. Think of them as an insurance policy.
Dear Wendy April 28,9: Was there any proof? I doubt it since none was mentioned. Northern Star April 28, Is there any talk of college? Dear Wendy April 28, I do think a woman who urges her teenage son and his girlfriend to move in together sounds unhinged though. The mom I assume?
Our home became a smokehouse and finally I started losing tolerance because I did not want to lose what we worked so hard for. So I know there is probably a ton of stories posted here like mine, but I have actually found a lot of support online while looking for similar stories. Do you do things to make his life better, or do you do things that permit him to feed his habit?
DID have a conversation with her daughter. According to the letter, the mom tried not to tell her what to do. Ron April 28, Many churches emphasize the importance of biblical study and drawing your own conclusions.
There are so many assumptions about this LW including mine going on in this thread. It actually makes me rather sad. That could also be what the LW wants. Skyblossom April 28, A Catholic would identify themselves as Catholic. Even the atheist members of the family identify as former Catholics or ex-Catholics but not as former Christians or learn more here. The Orthodox Catholics that I know identify as Orthodox.
Everyone is saying that this out of the control of the mother and she will have to let her daughter make her own decisions and live with the consequences of those decisions. If she reaches out with love and compassion without the strong-arming techniques she will be much more apt to maintain a good relationship with her daughter than by going to war with her.
If the mother tries to force her will on her daughter the daughter will move out for sure and the gulf between mother and daughter will be huge. No one is saying her values are wrong. People are saying if you try to enforce them on an adult child the adult child will leave you.