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Here's Why You Should Talk To Your Partner About Your Ex (Seriously) | HuffPost

If you're both on speaking terms, and you get along well, and if you're confident your ex is over you and getting on with their life, you could tell them about your new partner the s Dating and Relationship Advice . If you do feel the need to let your ex know you're seeing someone, just tell him/her straight up. I would. 4 Mar When you go through divorce you will have discretionary time, particularly if it's a joint custody arrangement or if you are the non-custodial parent. Date away! Feel free - and enjoy your sexuality. No problem. You will have plenty of private time away from the kids, but when they are around, they are your. (I have to ask though, and I mean this in the best way, do you have any linger feelings for him? If so, it's natural and OK -- and not a reason not to date others, of course -- but it's something to consider when you think about your own motivations for sharing.) Ultimately, you know your ex best, certainly better.

The last thing you want to hear out of a partner's mouth is the name of his or her ex -- but talking about an ex doesn't always signal romantic doom. In fact, it can help build a solid foundation for your current relationship.

Experts say the individual growth that leads to healthy, stable relationships begins with heartbreaks, and one of the best ways to turn past disappointments into future relationship successes is to share these experiences with your new partner.

But how should you broach the subject? If you've kept in touch with your former flames on social media platforms such as Facebook, you've got an easy in, said Dr. Linda Young, a psychologist and senior fellow at the Council on Contemporary Families.

It's not a bad thing.

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In fact, it can be helpful to discuss it with your current partner. But dredging up stories of past flames can be treacherous, and it's worth taking the time to think about how to do it right.

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Here are seven things to know before talking about an ex with your partner. Recalling past relationship mistakes makes you less inclined to repeat them. When you've been dumped, areas of the brain associated with addiction as well as physical pain light up, said Helen Fisherchief scientific adviser to Match.

Human brains have evolved to "attach" to other people after forming romantic bonds.

Let him find out through the grapevine. Tell him first if you are going to introduce your children to someone new. Know that the reason you're talking about your ex is to move forward, not backward. I do appreciate everyone's input though. Exs are going to be a memory.

When a relationship ends and that attachment severs, there's a huge emotional and physiological hit. After that, brain regions associated with processing what happened fire up. What did I lose?

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What did I gain? You remember the ones that got away. It's entirely possible that the brain is built that way so that you can remember why it didn't work so that you can do it better the next time.

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Talking about past relationships can give your partner insight into who you are. Aside from the evolutionary benefits, talking about your exes can help you communicate to your new partner how you grew into the person you are today. Often, romantic relationships serve as learning experiences that let you test the boundaries of link interests and needs.

Reflecting on a past relationship can even help you find out something about yourself that you may have missed during the relationship and breakup.

Candid, focused conversations build trust and encourage open communication. The American Psychological Association encourages those who have gone through breakups to focus on the positive aspects and outcomesrather than banning talk of exes completely.

While it's ideal to hash out all of your strong emotions before entering a new relationship, the ability to speak freely with your partner is important.

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There are appropriate levels of sharing. Young, Finn and Fisher all recommend keeping details to a minimum. Simply explain what happened with Tell Your Ex You Are Dating ex, what you learned and where you are now. Of course, every couple is different, and you'll have to gauge your partner's curiosity and comfort level -- you don't want to inadvertently make him or her feel as if you're either not over your ex or using your ex as a benchmark by which to measure your new partner.

The beginning of a new relationship may not be the best time to drop the ex bomb. Finn explained that there's no hard and fast learn more here when it comes to timing, but you probably want to give a relationship time to develop before adding in any emotional third parties -- i.

Take it from Finn: If you want to get your brain geared up for a new attachment, Fisher explained, you need to build your partnership and put the past aside for at least a little while so you two can have your own set of experiences and click. When Fisher polled a representative sample of 5, Americans for Match.

I've seen people take 10 years. However long it may take you to get over an ex, how you talk about that person when you're in a new relationship can reveal a great deal. If you're still grieving over an ex, that can create a barrier between you and your current partner and signify that you're not "over it. You can still have fond memories of your exes and bring them up occasionally, but be wary of spending too much time dwelling on the past, Young warns.

Know that the reason you're talking about your ex is Tell Your Ex You Are Dating move forward, not backward. Once you've shared the lessons of past relationships with your partner, it's best to continue to get to know him or her, form a new bond and create new memories -- don't let your current relationship stagnate.

Are You a Target of Blame for a Narcissist? I can see if my ex see more see Tell Your Ex You Are Dating as rubbing it in, which is not my intention, but I don't think it's wrong to be caring about his feelings if we're still on good terms. Or you could try dating yourself! I was in a semi-similar situation recently and I did tell my ex about my new relationship, also about one month in, specifically wording it as "hey, I wanted you to know about this now even though it's still in the early stages because I care about you and don't want you to hear about it second- or third-hand".

There's always more to learn about the relationship at hand, so you'll need to give it as much attention as possible. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. When it comes to talking about an ex, timing is everything. Remember that perception may not match reality. Go to mobile site.