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Overcoming Codependency: Breaking the Cycle of Unhealthy Relationships - Tiny Buddha

28 Aug However, excessive care and compassion can be a sign of codependency. By nature codependents are loving and caring people. They want to protect and help those they love and they usually have an innate sensitivity to the pain of others. Most codependent behaviors originate in dysfunctional family. Couples who struggle with codependency often try to control each other, and the result is a highly unhealthy relationship. Does this sound familiar to you?. Breaking free from a codependent pattern requires commitment, hard work and vigilance. The payoff makes it worth the effort. The results of breaking the pattern can include increased happiness, self-love, joy, self-esteem, freedom, fulfilling relationships and much more. Here are some steps to help you start to break the .

Many people stay in self-defeating relationships too long because they are fearful of being alone or feel responsible for their partner's happiness. They may say they want out -- but they end up staying.

How To Break Free From Codependency

Others may leave but repeat the same or a similar self-destructive pattern in a new relationship. The adrenaline rush that they experience when they feel passionate toward someone can be addictive. For many people, the reason behind excessive emotional reliance on a partner is co-dependency -- a tendency to put other's needs before their own.

Recently, I asked a client this question: So what can you do if you are paralyzed by fear or unable to risk leaving a relationship that is unhealthy for you? First, you need to acknowledge it. Fear doesn't go away by itself -- it tends to morph into something else. If you sometimes find that you sabotage your own needs in relationships, there could be many reasons. However, codependency symptoms are common for people who grew up How To Break Free From Codependency a dysfunctional home -- especially if you took on the role of a caretaker.

According to codependency expert Darlene Lancermost American families are dysfunctional -- so you're in the majority if you grew up in please click for source. She writes, "Researchers also found that codependent symptoms got worse if left untreated. The good news is that they're reversible. Many people fear getting hurt emotionally and might flee a healthy relationship or engage in some form of self-protective behavior by staying in an unhealthy one.

For many people, pain is what they know. Dealing with an unavailable, distant, or inappropriate partner is their wheelhouse. A partner who wants nothing more than to be with them and make them a top priority is alien.

John Townsend and Henry Cloud. Charisma Media moderators will consider your request and decide on the most appropriate action. They can also feel victimized or controlled by others because they feel such a need to meet the needs of others rather than their own. I usually begin by identifying what the factors were, from active abuse to source neglect, that prevented the person's love needs from being met. Join the Tiny Buddha list for daily or weekly blog posts, exclusive content, and promotions.

Do you find yourself falling into one or more of these codependent relationship patterns? You go above and beyond to make others happy. You might avoid confronting your partner about important issues because you fear rejection or worry more about a partner's feelings than your own.

Do you care too much about what others think of you? Do you ignore a partner's dishonesty, possessiveness, or jealous tendencies? You might even ignore your own self-care or feel that you're being selfish if you take care of yourself. This can mean you have trouble saying "no" to the requests of others or allow others to take advantage of you.

Ready to live for myself for once in my life…. Do not post personal information including phone numbers, email or mailing addresses, or credit card information belonging to you or others. If their partner is having a bad day, they feel upset and responsible, even if it has nothing to do with them. They fear facing themselves truthfully and risking being true to their own feelings and judgments.

The vast majority of the more than women that I interviewed for my book Daughters of Divorcedescribed themselves as independent, steadfast, loyal and conscientious. They are hardworking, trustworthy, and self-reliant -- and pride themselves on these traits. They often feel self-assured and autonomous -- confident they can take care of themselves while others can't. The truth is that in spite of many wonderful traits, many of the women I met with found themselves being attracted to troubled, distant, or moody men at some point in their lives -- and dismissed "nice guys" as boring.

Step #1 Become Aware

I sat down for coffee with Haley one afternoon. A beautiful, outgoing, and lively twenty-something, she has found herself in an on and off again relationship for seven years with a guy she just can't seem to break away from. Haley never wants to be responsible for a relationship ending. And when her partner, Tyler, doesn't treat her well, or devalues her love, she wonders why she wasn't worth fighting click here. She longs for a boyfriend who offers her love, security, and respect.

But she says whenever she runs across a man who could potentially give her those things, she isn't attracted to him.

All she knows is the cycle of inadequacy and mistrust. Many women remain in dysfunctional marriages because they are convinced that this is what they deserve.

Source learned that relationships can heal if people change. But in order to heal from an unhealthy pattern of codependency, it's important to regain control of your thoughts and make your needs a priority.

If your current relationship is destructive, look at ways you self-sabotage and examine your own behaviors.

How To Break Free From Codependency

You don't need to prove anything to another person about your worth. Be kind and compassionate toward yourself. Counseling, friendships, and online resources can be tremendously helpful to supporting you in your journey of finding a happy relationship.

Surrender your shield and let others in.

Breaking the Codependent Cycle — Charisma Magazine

Take a moment to consider that you might be hooked on the feeling that being in love brings pain. If so, you might be self-sabotaging your chances of having a healthy relationship where you can get your needs met. Your fear of being alone or taking a risk, for instance, might be preventing you from finding the love and happiness you deserve.

Top-10 Actions to Break Co-Dependency

You may be freezing out the opportunity to love someone who can meet you half way. Author Karen McMahon writes, "By focusing on your healing and personal growth you will energetically transform your life and begin to attract others friends, bosses, companions who are your emotional equals. Follow Terry Gaspard movingpastdivorce. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. Reclaiming Yourself in Relationships. Go to mobile site.